Monday, April 14, 2008

Let's Make a Deal

So my sweet, handsome, strong, intelligent and thoughtful husband struggles with getting home on time (I know this is nothing new for most husbands), and his lovely wife doesn't have a lot of tolerance for this problem. Everyday, I ask Mike what time I can expect him home, and I get a little crazy (OK a lot) when he is not home when he says he will be. He claims I don't understand how busy things get and that I'm insensitive to all he has to do. I remind him that all I ask is that he calls (or has one of his assistants call) before he's already late, to let me know he's running behind. My family all thinks I'm way to hard on the poor guy, and his mom thinks it's genetic and that I'm better off just letting it go. BUT I REFUSE! Keep in mind, I don't tell Mike when to be home, that's his job. So we, OK it was my idea, but he agreed, on a little wager to help with this issue. You might want to try it out yourself. Here's the deal: Mike tells me when I can expect him home, leaving himself a little wiggle room. If he is not home on time, and did not call at least 30 minutes before he was supposed to be home to let me know he's running late, he owes me $100. I know this might sound a little harsh, but the goal is to improve communication, and I'd really rather have him home than take his money. We made this deal on Wednesday, and what do you know, Thursday he was home when he said he would be. Friday, I made $100. We'll see what this week brings.

I should add that I promised I would have dinner ready when he said he'd be home, so there is some incentive, other than a happy wife which should be good enough!

18 comments:

Candise said...

Great post. Also a HUGE problem at our house. I have tried it all; tears, talking, cold dinner and a cold shoulder, and more! So yes, you are harsh - so am I - and it really is easier to let it go just a bit. My mom likes to remind me that some of the qualities I fell in love with are the qualities that will also provide me the most grief. Hard-working. check, Loyal. check, Extra-miler. check, Breadwinner. check. Home on time...not so much. So my advice is to always expect a call, don't always be angry when you don't get the call, and cut yourself a little slack next time you want to stay later at a get together with friends...turnabout is fair play...most of the time! Good luck - what are you going to do with your $100? I know, spend it on your trip to Vegas...right?

Emilee & Paul said...

I love it . . . sorry Mike!

genevieve said...

What a great idea. My husband is always at least 30 minutes late to come home (usually an hour). It's nice that I'm not the only one that says "All I want is the common courtesy of a phone call." If I did this deal I'd be rolling in the cash. Good luck!

Jennifer said...

Sounds like a good deal to me!

The Gardners said...

i don't like it....sorry crystal! mike, i'll give you $125 for everyday that you are late! and why doesn't mike get a hundred bucks for every day he is on time??i think that would be fair.

Kristi said...

Same problem.... and I am the same way - at LEAST call me right????? I am a worrier so I start to panic and cry and call hospitals and stuff (he has no cell phone, which I plan to remedy at Fathers day). He told me yesterday that he will be home at a ceratin time sharp if I promised dinner would be ON the table kids seated, hands washed etc. so... there we sat.... Ya - an hour late.... what WILL we do with them? Good thing they are so cute!

SarJen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SarJen said...

You go girl!

Did you end up paying him $100 on Saturday? :)

Emily said...

You crack me up! that is way too funny!

KellyAnne said...

100 bucks?!?! Holy cow you are spoiled.
Knowing when to expect the husband home from work is tricky business. Especially if you mean to have dinner ready. But in this type of business, what can you expect? Delays are gonna happen. It IS always nice to have some notice though. Or at least a TARGET time so that being late is the exception rather than the rule.
Good luck, it's not easy!
What ARE you planning to do with that 100 bucks anyway?

Danny and Sar said...

ok so I'm sorry but you love me because I am brutally honest right? Here it goes: number one I am sensitive to the whole mike thing because I work with him and I know what is going on at the office and that a million things pop up when we try to get out the door. Number two I don't understand why you don't just add one hour to the time he tells you and then you will be right on target (I know that your argument is that it's HIS responsibility to add the hour on but seriously does it matter who adds the hour as long as you both know when he'll be home?) I think if the issue is that you want to know what time he'll be home so that you don't have a cold dinner, just say "mike what time will you be home?" and he'll say "crystal I will be home at 5:30" and then in your brain you say "okay so I will have dinner ready and we'll see you at 6:30" - I'm not even kidding this will solve the problem. OR option 2 is that I will call you everyday from the office at 5pm and say "Hi friend your husband will be home at 6:30" but let's not kid ourselves you could save yourself a phone call and just tack on the blasted hour!!!!! I love your stubborn blasted guts, Sar

Danny and Sar said...

ps I am probably not very sensitive to all of you guys on this issue because I NEVER know when my husband will be home and no matter how upset that makes me - it's not going to change because he doesn't decide when someone is going to have a heart attack at 8:59 on a morning he's supposed to get off, so I just know that he'll be home when he gets home and thats the end of it. Even though let me just say if there was a way for me to write a strongly opinionated letter to those blasters who do decide to loose limb or have heart attacks at 8:59 I would! So people: please, if you are going to have a medical emergency, do it at night or mid day okay? That would really help me out!

Jill said...

You are too funny. I agree though, it is so frustrating when they are late. I never know when to fix dinner and it's always hit and miss. They can call once they leave the office and still give us plenty of warning with what to expect. Sounds like a fun game, for you! Hopefully you will get him in the habit of calling you! Have fun shopping in the meantime :)

Jenny and Blake said...

This must be a new dentist problem! Blake and I were just having a "heated discussion" about this the other day. How frustrating to think he will be home at 5:30 and then wait around until 7:00 not feeling like you can start anything because he will be home any time. I don't know what the solution is, but its nice to know I'm not alone!!

Alyssa Barlow said...

After seven years of dealing with this problem it comes to this:

1. I never expect my husband home. If he's not there, we eat without him. If he makes it.. bonus!

2. I just spend his money on whatever I want, whenever I want. Why limit yourself to $100 increments?

They learn pretty quick, and if not, then it costs them!

Tara said...

Hilarious! And, the comments are great too! I agree that when the time-you-are-supposed-to-be-home is gone, I loose all semblence of sanity. I guess that is one advantage to not getting home, I just know that is the way it is going to be. However, even when he is here, John doesn't care if dinner is cold. He wouldn't care if it was done at 2pm, as long as it was done. I, on the other hand, want the meal warm when it is served. What is the point if it is cold? Yuck!

Tara said...

I like your program! I think that I will try that! Miss you all.

Kristina said...

I understand completely. But I try to be flexible and I give Joel a buffer. To be honest, the problem with husbands makes me wonder what will happen when the kids become teenagers. If they (husbands) don't call, how do we expect to get the kids to call when they are running late?